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Somewhere Over The Rainbow: Dealing With Pregnancy Loss

October 23, 2017

 

Today I wanted to share with you all this adorable denim jumper I recently purchased and these super fun, colorful earrings that I received  from 7 Charming Sisters that are perfect for the Fall. Before we talk about fashion though, I wanted to take a few minutes to share with you something that has been weighing heavily on my heart.

As October soon comes to an end, I wanted to acknowledge the fact that this month was Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. Did you know that 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage and that 1 in 160 pregnancies end in stillbirth? This is A LOT. Loss can be so painful and we often seem to ignore it here in our western culture. With repeat pregnancy loss and chromosomal abnormalities being just some of the diagnosis that the term infertility encompasses, I thought it was important to acknowledge those who have suffered loss and believe its important that those are not silenced.

Before this month, I may have heard about October being Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month in passing and thought about my friends and family members who have suffered a loss, but I never thought that this would truly hit home for me until now. First of all, I want to say that I was very hesitant to write this post and share something so private on a public forum. My blog has been my creative outlet for the past 3 1/2 years and it felt kind of ridiculous for me to just keep posting outfits etc. without sharing what I have REALLY been dealing with for the past two weeks. You may not agree with me on posting this, and that is ok. This is my journey and my choice to share this with you.

Two weeks ago today, I suffered my first miscarriage. I hate saying that this happened on one particular day, because the truth is, I have been miscarrying for almost two weeks straight.  As a woman, I know that this is very common and of course always a risk when trying to conceive, but I guess I just never thought I would actually experience it myself. This has probably been the hardest thing I’ve had to go through so far. The feeling of disappointment each day has really been tough, and I am looking forward to a day that I can get through without crying. People have been telling me how lucky I am and how “I’m still young and can still get pregnant,” but it doesn’t make me feel any better about losing this baby. I always thought that when people had a miscarriage, that they bled for the day and that was it, really. I mean medically speaking, I know as a Health teacher that this isn’t really how it works, but I had NO CLUE that it would go on for so long, and that has been the hardest part. I bled for almost two weeks and so every day was a constant reminder that I was no longer pregnant. I also didn’t realize that I would have to keep going back to the doctor to give blood to make sure that my Hcg levels were in fact decreasing and I wouldn’t need to have a D&C. Going into the OBGYN’s office not pregnant like that was torturous.

Anyways, I am trying to move forward and I recently learned what the term “Rainbow Baby” means:

A “rainbow baby” is a baby that is born following a miscarriage, stillbirth, neonatal death or infant loss. In the real world, a beautiful and bright rainbow follows a storm and gives hope of things getting better. The rainbow is more appreciated having just experienced the storm in comparison.

The storm (pregnancy loss) has already happened and nothing can change that experience. Storm-clouds might still be overhead as the family continue to cope with the loss, but something colorful and bright has emerged from the darkness and misery.

I know that one day I will get my “Rainbow Baby” and in the meantime I am enjoying every moment I can with my current family. Although I am trying to move forward, I hope that one day miscarriage will be talked about more openly. I recently came across this article that said “a few problems arise when we keep miscarriage private, away from the larger community. When statistics stop matching experience, our concept of reality becomes disjointed at best. …”

As I mentioned earlier, I knew that a miscarriage was a statistical risk, but because they aren’t talked about openly, we look at them as an exceptional case- one that we only know a few people in our lifetime that they actually happen to. Since having a miscarriage myself, I have truly realized how common they are (a girl in one of my 12 person blogging groups even had one the same week as me!) In the above article, the author says, “miscarriage touches so many more women than we realize. “I think that if we girls and women and boys and men grew up with a more open sharing of the grief of miscarriage, then the loss, when it happens, would not seem quite so alienating. … Imagine if we moved to the same comfort level with talking about miscarriage that we feel when someone talks about a really bad car accident they once had or the death of a grandparent. What if we accepted miscarriage as an open topic for discussion? Isn’t it odd that we haven’t? Think of the many important women’s topics we make an effort to discuss more openly: breast cancer, sexual harassment, abuse and infertility, to name a few. … Imagine if, as Christians and as women, we could more openly acknowledge the burden of miscarriage. We could at least talk about the guilt a woman feels when a beautiful newborn baby causes her to weep, and perhaps through the dialogue of a community, that guilt would lessen as it revealed more candidly the processes of grief women who miscarry walk through.” I couldn’t agree with this idea more.

Today’s outfit is a symbol of hope I have for the future–it’s bright and cheerful with a rainbow theme.  I love these colorful  “Air Like Cider” earrings from 7 Charming Sisters and how they include some of my favorite fall colors in them. This shop is so special to me because they have a deep commitment to helping those with disabilities find jobs and employs disabled people in their studio. Many of their handmade pieces are handcrafted by those with intellectual disabilities who earn commission.  The company is made up of 7 “work” sisters who all embrace a different sense of style! When you check out their website, you can shop based on whichever sister’s style closely resembles yours! I love supporting companies who give back to their communities, so be sure to check out their beautiful jewelry line and use code “SewSarahR15” for 15% off your total order (excluding sale items).

Thank you so much for stopping by today and allowing me to share a piece of my private life with you. If  you have ever experienced a miscarriage, stillbirth or any kind of infant loss of your own, my heart goes out to you. Know that your baby’s life had meaning and that you are not alone.

 

 

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13 Comments

  • Reply Annaliese October 23, 2017 at 9:55 pm

    Such a beautiful and honest post Sarah! I’m so sorry for your loss, and I’ll be thinking of you and your family in this time. Keep smiling and radiating sunshine!!

    xoxo A
    http://www.southernbelleintraining.com

    • Reply sarah October 24, 2017 at 4:10 pm

      Thank you so much, Annaliese! XO

  • Reply Sarah October 24, 2017 at 1:32 am

    I’m so terribly sorry for your loss. I have not had a miscarriage, but have walked friends through both miscarriages and stillbirths, and the pain is excruciating. Thank you for your bravery and honesty, and I’m believing with you for a future rainbow baby 🌈🌈💜

    • Reply sarah October 24, 2017 at 4:10 pm

      Thank you Sarah! XO

  • Reply Mireille October 24, 2017 at 11:54 am

    Thanks for sharing! Just like you, I didn’t realize how common miscarriages are until my first one. I am due with baby 4 in a couple weeks but did have 3 miscarriages in between my kiddos, all different. Praying for you while you experience your loss. And it does help to share with friends and realize you are not alone. May God bless you!

    • Reply sarah October 24, 2017 at 4:09 pm

      Oh my goodness, 3 miscarriages?! I worry about it happening again, but I guess that is the risk you take. I hope that your upcoming birth goes really well! Congratulations and thank you! XO

      • Reply Mireille October 26, 2017 at 11:41 am

        Ended up going to hospital on the 24th for low amniotic fluid and had baby boy: 8lbs 4oz! We are all doing great!

        • Reply sarah October 27, 2017 at 2:47 am

          oh my gosh!! Congratulations!!! Glad to hear you are all doing well!!! XO

  • Reply Becky October 24, 2017 at 2:50 pm

    I’m so sorry for your loss. Praying your rainbow baby comes. I experiences a miscarriage between our first two boys and it was heartbreaking. Praying for peace for you in this time.

    • Reply sarah October 24, 2017 at 4:07 pm

      Thank you Becky. I am sorry you had to go through this as well. I appreciate you taking the time to read my post and comment! XO

  • Reply Cristina - Memories of the Pacific October 30, 2017 at 7:52 pm

    What a fun outfit, Sarah! I love the colorful photos. I’m really sorry about your loss though

  • Reply Kristen @ Market Street Petite November 2, 2017 at 12:10 am

    I am so sorry for your loss! I cannot imagine how you are feeling. Prayers for the future and rainbow baby to come <3

  • Reply Jamie Moore November 8, 2017 at 2:01 am

    I was wondering how I’d wear this jumper now that summer is over! Thanks for the inspiration!

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